Sawdust and Suicide

Harv is a gassy Mfer...
I have just returned from what could be the greatest fishing trip of my life. Morin , Myself , Harv and Arnold decided to scoot over to Michigans west side for a few days to take a run at the Manistee Steelhead.

This trip couldn't have been better timed for me and has done wonders to restore some happiness and peace to my wartorn embittered soul.

I have been to Michigan a number of times now and each time have enjoyed the trip but I have never really enjoyed any real Michigan Steelhead success...until now. Dare I say that my Michigan curse has been lifted?

The fishing wasn't crazy hot, but we all managed to catch some really great fish...(heavily slanted once again in that OCD POS Morins favour) ..in a really beautiful place.

Our usual mad dash MO was shelved this time and we decided to take it easy.


We rented a cabin in the woods right next to the river for two nights and we have all unanimously decided that this is the way to go from now on.

I actually feel rested...which is something that I generally don't associate with the end of a Steelhead trip.

I even got a break from driving.
Arnold volunteered...god bless him...and as a reward for his generousity the Steelhead gods almost threw a skunk at him. I was very impressed with the grace with which he endured that first day. I may have been tying a noose back at the cabin if it had been me with the goose-egg but Arnold was the first one up the next day and made everybody breakfast.
Class.

The next night he hit three fish inside of a half hour and the first one was a tank... ..A tank that made him its bitch ...but a tank none the less.

LOL
I think it is safe to say Arn is a good guy. How he ended up with us three sociopaths is anybodys guess.
We went into the trenches together at Bear Creek pulling a Steelie out of the lumber.

I had to hand him my rod while I negotiated a logpile. It was a funny moment that I will never forget. My first Bear creek Steelie and what a way to get it.

It was a nice group actually. All homos ..but nice.
Normally the group fishing thing doesn't appeal to me but I would run with this gang again...

It was cool to fish with Harv again and get to know him better.
He is now a confirmed POS and Rube alcoholic to whom which I somehow managed to pass on the Norland curse.

The homo spent half the trip retying and still managed to outfish me.

Fuck him.

The weather was sublime even though it brought out the fairweathers and made the fish a little more difficult.
Sometimes I will take the sunshine and warmth over a few more hook-ups. This was one of those occasions.

The Manistee National Forest is a place that I could find myself enjoying even if there were no fish. Deafening silence....

Well at least outside the cabin...
The Jetboats make me tired....but we are guests after all and most of the Michigan people were welcoming and friendly to the Canadians with the weird tackle. The Centrepin thing hasn't really taken hold yet and I cannot understand why. Those rivers are made for it and it really outproduces the local techniques. This trip managed to eat up a ton of our tackle....mostly floats oddly enough. It is funny / annoying that you can go several trips without losing anything and then empty your vest in one day. We tried to restock at the local tackle store but they didn't carry anything that remotely resembled what we use.
It was too bad because the service was off the chart.
Nothing like those miserable cunts out west.
I played tourist and bought myself a hat and a shirt and also joined the homo fisherman fanny pack club. Our counter man Turk even drew us maps and put me over the Bear Creek action.

Bear Creek is a beautiful little place that won't tolerate the combat gang fishing or the Jetboat armada.
Morin hated the place but it was right up my alley. 3 days of fresh air great fishing and even better company.
The area provides a great variety of fishing come to think of it.

I even watched Morin catch a fish off the side of a cliff!
Sawdust and Suicide. I can't wait to go back.
BTW... It should be noted that on the way home Morin actually suggested that we fish under the bridge the next day...
ON Easter Weekend...
That has got to be a cry for help...


There is no hope for that retard.
;0)
Good times Boys..

DIG

When Gary and Dennis aren't giggin' they are calibrating metronomes around their sense of time...


John Scofield -Jazz Funk band

Couldn't Even Catch A Cold

I wish that were true.
I am so friggin sick of being sick.
I came down with a horrible head cold virus thing just before I went away for my recert in early March and it has been with me ever since. I shot pretty well considering. I qualified on my first attempt no thx to the Agency.
Fuck them.
They sure make it hard on a person and my trip wasn't without the usual bullshit drama. Fucking place makes me exhausted.
At least it is behind me...til next year.
The stress and the fact that everyone around me is sick is a bad combination.
The clan just can't seem to shake this mess that has taken hold of us all here at the Norland house.
The midnights don't help one bit.
I absolutely hate midnights.
I feel tired all the time and I don't eat well. It is easy to get run down and I think that is what has happened.
I was just about through with the last bug but went into a tailspin on my last shift in.


Both Ella and I are in the same shitty boat.
Chicken soup and Kleenex.
Awesome.
Oh well..


We both started to perk up a bit so Kim and I bought Ella her first Bike today and it really seemed to cheer her up....
Actually it cheered everybody up.
I even decided on the spur of the moment to go fishing.
:oO


It had been a few months and I was concerned that I had forgotten how.
The water under the bridge looked great but I didn't even get a single pull....it did feel good to shake off the dust...runny nose and all.
Very peaceful down there this time of year.
Owen tagged along and we had a good time together. Daddy and his float watching and Owen with his Harry Potter make believe. I think he was being chased by the Dementors...lol.
I turned him loose with the camera and his pictures turned out pretty good.
I even saw a few guys heading out downrigging.
Won't be long now.


The schedule I am on right now should loosen up in a couple of weeks and it is a good thing because I could can really use the R&R fish or no fish..
Til then I guess I will just keep chasing bad guys. It looks like the stuff is starting to move again and with any luck we'll get another pinch our way.
I hope the family gets some sleep tonight.

#1...sigh

Man I miss the fall.
Morin is trying to ramp me up for the spring fishery but I might be a lost cause.
I keep waiting for those spring fever moments to pry me out of this malaise....it is March isn't it?
:o/


Fuck..
Fuckity fuck fuck...
Owen and I went to the beach yesterday. He is turning into a tough little monkey and he loves it outside...frigid temps be damned.


I took a few pics of Mike Weir beach which is currently an ice cube.
Owen has discovered Harry Potter


and these trips to the park...or to the "forbidden forest" are all about Voldemorte and Whomping Willows...lol

I had to search a bit for my number one shots. I had put all of my 2006 shots onto a jump drive and it became buried in the furnace room as a result of my basement reno project.
BTW...my new carpet that I put down has been soaked from seepage due to the Biblical rainfall this year.
NICE..
We are here 4 years and never had even a sign of water...until I finish the basement.
My Wife cried...but me?...I am used to that shit.
That is life....consistantly ...and I will not let it bother me.
Luckily it wasn't sewage.
Some people this year have had to pump out their basements. I may have to re-kick the carpet and steam clean it...whatever..
These little curve-balls can be tempered by great memories...

Number one is from 2006...the Steelhead year to end all years.
It was the first fish on a morning that had started very slow but ended with us catching so many fish that we were exhausted by the end of the day. Maybe that is bragging but I don't mean it to be...
I have been free enough to share the many days where I have been kicked rather viciously in the nuts by the river... I think I can with a clear conscience allow this brief moment of vanity.
Besides...all I did was lift up on the float and hold on for dear life.
The water was high and this fish was ultra hot. At one point it wrapped me around a rock so tight that I could'nt feel the fish on the other end.
I tried to lift my mainline over the rock to free it but I could'nt get it clear. I had already seen the fish and knew that it was a beauty and my heart was sinking.
...All the fish had to do to beat us at that point was make a hard run downstream but instead she came upstream...and freed herself.
Maybe like a lot of beautiful girls she wanted her picture taken?
I chased it downstream like a fumbling fool into the rapids and finally pulled it into the tall grass testing the gear to the max.


I think Morin had given up hope and he had to run downstream to snap a few pics.
I love the expression on my face. It just about sums up Steelheading for me...shock..disbelief...with a healthy dose of joy!!!
That ...after some consideration...was my greatest fish.



It is the fishy moment that I come back to the most and at the risk of sounding even more like a homo than usual I am glad that POS Morin was there for it.
I have never seen a more perfect fish anywhere

...and probably never will again.

....seepage be damned.

With memories like this ...nothing can reach me.

KNOCK ON WOOD

#2...And I am Getting Old

Going through my fish pictures has been very interesting.
I started fishing for these slimy little monkies right around a decade ago give or take and a lot of things have changed in my life since then.
I have said on more than one occasion that if someone were to have approached me 15years ago and described my current life to me I would've laughed my fool head off.
My current condition is just about as far removed as it could possibly be...
and yet...
I have found happiness....extreme happiness at times.
I bitch a bit about my kids now and then but in all honesty I have never felt love like the love I have for my children.
If I had known how much they were going to mean to me I probably never would've had them.
They destroy who you were...but it is beautiful destruction...and who I am now is a much better person.
The same goes for my wife as well....even though our relationship has evolved into something I can barely recognize...it still is beautiful.
We had some great years that were just the two of us and I suppose it is normal that the kids kind of dominate at this stage.
I am hopeful that when the kids get a bit older that we will be able to find some time for ourselves again....but I am not holding my breath.
The Job..
The job...
I am fortunate to have a job and it was a real first for me to earn a living at something that I am passionate about doing...
But I am sure it has taken years off my life... and will continue too if I allow it.
I don't know who is worse really...
Management ...my co-workers...or the fucking criminals....
Bottom line is...
Life has gotten very serious in a hurry.
I regret nothing.
....But I am VERY GLAD I HAVE FISHING...
I look old in this picture...old but happy...

And look at that fishy
:o)

This was the first fish of the 2007 season.
That season took a bit to get into gear and compared to the previous 2006 year kind of teetered on the edge of being a bust.
But.. the water finally rose...and the fish came in...albeit not with the previous years quality ..but shit...it was still great.
This was a great fish and when I set up on him it was all joy....
It was an awesome way to begin the year.
I love the lamprey mark....which is kind of a weird thing to say...but it was a scar that gave this big fella some character.
I guess he's been though the the wringer too.
God bless this river and its fish.
#2

#3...RUBE Strikes Again...

I wasn't sure whether this fish was going to place on my little list.
I am ashamed that I killed it.
I have been fond of saying that this fish provided the greatest fight of any fish that I have ever hooked.....and that is probably accurate still.
Quite a bit of that however was due to the fact that it was the first October HOT Wild fish...on gear that was waaayyyyy to flimsy...and I had zero experience with fish like this.
It was my first HOLY SHIT!!! fish.
lol
I had been fishing Sauble Falls exclusively for about 4 seasons trying desperately to figure out the sport.
I had gotten to the point where I was catching the occasional fish but still half expected to get skunked whenever I left the house. LOL
That river is a bitch still today even though I have managed to figure it out somewhat.
The water is fast and always ultra clear. The river also seems to select for big strong fish that are able to make it up over the falls themselves.

It is a neat place and typing this now I can picture it vividly in my mind.
I usually pull into the parking lot way before sun up and just sit and listen to the roar of water.
I think I will make it a point of heading back there this year.

Anyway...
I don't think that I will wax poetic about this too too much ...
It was October 13th after a week of solid rain and the river was quite busy.
I had just bought my first Islander and paired it up with an 11 1/2 ft premier blank that was as stiff as a piece of wet spaghetti.
The river was crowded and I had fished for about 4 solid hours without even so much as a bump.
Misery loves company as the saying goes and I had lots of it...the river was being very difficult.
The usual faces were there and quite a few of them were what I considered to be 'heavy hitters'...I was painfully self conscious.
No scowls though...as a matter of fact most guys were very helpful and I really owe them a debt of gratitude for some of the tips they offered early on.
Anyway....after casting for that amount of time I had kind of lost my focus and was getting a wee bit frustrated with the amount of line twist that had resulted from 10 thousand long throws.
After one pathetic throw the line came back at me and the float landed about 3 ft in front of me....where it promptly shot beneath the surface.
All I remember is fear....



To this day I don't think that I have ever had a fish peel line that quickly from my reel. The fish jumped at least 7 times...and they were the kind of jumps we dream about....like straight out of the water clearing the water in feet rather than inches...
Just amazing.
The fish made it all the way across the river before I could even gain any control over it and when it breached over there it took the boys on the far side a bit to figure out who had the fish on.
Backing out of the water on the Sauble is always a bit of a test. The river bottom is littered with old wood from a dock that used to be there and it is slippery.
So now that I have gathered everyones attention I couldn't help but fall three friggin times in the water trying to catch up with this fish.
I was never more excited about a fish.
I was still a rube back then...and this fish came home with me. It stings a bit in my memory...but you know....maybe I should lighten up a bit.
It was a great meal and fed a dozen of us that night. It was a proud moment.
...and rightfully so...

#3


I have turned the corner and never looked back.
I was a shitheel....I think we all go through it....
Complete with my orange whistle....
The tackle box was somebody elses though... I swear

BTW... I am back in the working world...
I worked 90 fucking hours last week....nothing like jumping right in....CHRIST....

#4 The Perfect Winter Buck From Home

Each fishing trip is special in its own right I suppose but it is a mystery sometimes why certain moments stand out from others.
I am a strange Cat...and I always have been.
One of the peculiarities I have when it comes to fishing is that although admittedly it is impossible not to enjoy a ridiculous double digit day when everybody is drillin 'em I always have a slight guilty feeling..or a feeling of disappointment.
Don't get me wrong... it is a feeling I can get over...rather quickly...lol
But it is there.
I have this knucklehead idea that each fish should be special...and sort of stand out on its own for you..at least for a moment.
Even the days where we've stood on them I have tried....quite often unsuccessfully...to give each fish its due.
...To take a moment after beaching each fish and just kind of relax and savour the moment instead of frantically searching through the vest for the bait that just worked so you can get back in there...
It is hard not to get caught up when the fishing is crazy hot ...but to me it is poison. The day becomes a blurr.
You end up thinking about the next trip on the drive home instead of appreciating the one you'd just finished and in the process losing all of its healing powers. A great fishing day really adds to the quality of my life and I think that even my wife recognizes now that I am a better person after a great day on the water.
The trick is figuring out what exactly a great day is and having the discipline to go and find it....
I love this fish.

I am fond of saying that this was the perfect winter buck.

...and it was flawless. Beautiful spots , great colours, perfect white tipped fins and prodigious strength.
Pound for Pound one of the strongest ...
But going back through my pics for this little winter project has made me realize that there have been a number of similar fish...
But I don't remember them...
It was easy to remember this fella...
#4

This was the only fish we got that day...and it didn't come easy.
It was a cold...very cold ...and slow day.
I can still picture the float giving just a wiggle in the tail out and the lethargic head shakes before the fish came alive for us....

...The pain in my frost bitten hands working to undermine my patience...lol
So overwhelmed by the moment that I set the Islander down in the water...which I am sure was the end of my trotting for the morning.
Great fish.
Maybe because it was the only one?
Or maybe a slow day is sometimes a gift to set you straight.

#5... Jaws and The Black North

Once upon a time Morin and I had never been to New York.
We'd heard the stories...
Rivers black with fish....you could walk across them.....a fish on every drift...
Yah Sure...
But there is nothing like a good fish story.
I can't remember the circumstances surrounding our first trip. I know it was fueled somewhat from a FF.Net thread rife with fish porn...and to be shamefully honest it was surely inspired at least in part by a roe shortage.
I don't think either of us can kill a fish from our river but ...and I sincerely hope this doesn't offend anyone, it is not that much of a strain on my conscience for me to take a fish from a river which it,

A. Has ZERO chance of spawning in
and,
B. Has Mutant Hatchery origins
and,
C. It is part of a push of fish that is literally so thick that most of the fish have no place to hide

I don't believe that even with the outlandish trip that we had that we would've thrown over our little trib unless the conditions there were crap as well.
It seems to me that everything was flooded.
The Oak is a tailwater fishery that has the wonderful reputation of never being blown.


It also has the reputation of being the premier Lake Run Brown Trout fishery in the world. The roe from these fish was also rumoured to have magical properties that even Steelies with Lock-Jaw could not resist
LOL
How do these things get started??
Regardless...To make a long story short we did keep a fish and the Brown Trout roe does work.....but so does the roe we buy from the hatchery...
Mostly what works is a well presented bait and some patience.

So Morin and I drive through the night against ridiculous howling winds and sideways rain. We arrive at the river with little hope of water clarity or the chance of a drift that is even remotely presentable.
In this regard the Oak is a wonderful place. It is for the most part well shielded from the wind and even with the water on the high side had more clarity than even I could've hoped for.
We started fishing right at sun-up. There were quite a few people but it couldn't really be classified as a circus.
Unsure of where to begin we just sauntered up to the waters edge and lobbed one in.
The float didn't make it 2 ft.


This went on for two days.
I have never been around fishing that easy before.
The bite would taper off somewhat but with a quick change of location it would pick up again with the same intensity.
Oddly enough most of the fish were Steelies.

The big rains of the previous week seemed to have ushered in some ultra fresh fish and we'd timed it just right.
Landing fish at the Oak is a real trick. It is my only gripe about the place. The trees line the rivers edge making it almost impossible to move with a fish.
Brian found one little sweet spot on the river where the rather swift current broke around some submerged timber.
The Steelhead were stacked in there and we took turns losing fish from that location for about 2 hrs. LOL

It was pretty hard to walk down with a fish as the water was at least waist deep and really trucking so we would put as much pressure on them as we'd dared and if the fish wouldn't turn we'd be re-rigging.
This is where I hooked #5...The Largest Steelhead of My Life.
Brian had lost interest in the mission impossible run and had just disappeared around the bend upstream when I set up on one that I knew was special.
Now here I am up to my waist in fast moving water bracing myself against a submerged log and this thing comes out of the water about ten feet from me.
BIG FISH.
Heart pounding...
I don't mind taking my time with a fish and for the first little while the big fella just sounded out in front of me....if anyting it was heading up stream.
Just when I had considered the possibility that I may get lucky and beach it right there the fish made another outstanding leap, turned and headed down stream at the speed of sound.
Oh well...fuck it...
I am going after it.
So as my float reel is still spinning in my hand I am trying to climb over the giant log that the current has me wedged against while trying not to lose my balance and end up floating downstream!
Nice.
I finally caught up with the fish in a section that was quite a bit slower about 60 yards downstream. This little area was occupied with two fishermen who were shocked to see me wading downstream in a river that was unwadable.
One was a guide and the other his client.
(BTW...who the fuck hires a guide on a river that gives up 50 fish a day?)
I think they were a little pissed at me.
"Sorry guys"..."this one has some shoulders and I had to chase it a bit"
Just then the fish breached and everybody in sight gave a collective "HOLY SHIT".
In the calmer water it didn't take me long to turn it and when it finally slid in to the bank I just about fell over.
The 'guide' said it went 15 lbs easy but he was drunk.
He was kind enough to tape it for me and take these terrible photographs...
Fucking Morin!!!!
Where the hell were you?????
POS
Anyway..fishy went just over 32" in length.
#5

Fresh clean fish without a mark glittering in the sunshine...
Hoooahhhhh!!!
Nice fish anywhere and it dwarfed anything else we caught on that trip.
I think that I shut 'er down after that. Morin couldn't be dragged from the river...because he is deeply disturbed.
Finally as dark settled we hit THE BLACK NORTH for some of the greatest french fries I have ever tasted and beer.
Day two was almost as productive but nothing will ever compare to the magic of that first day.
I catch myself occasionally relating my NY story to people who I can tell just can't believe it.
LOL


I had Advanced Taxidermy do me up a very nice replica mount of my #5 fish. They didn't have much to go on and the girth is a little on the thick side. This fish was more like a torpedo than a tank but whenever I look at it I remember that day.

#6....And a Much Needed Break

Was it 2003 or 2004???
I don't even like thinking about it so I am not going to double check,
Either way It is amazing to me how much time has passed and how much of my life has changed.
I work for the government and for the most part am very proud of what I do ....but like any federal institution my place of employment is a giant clusterfuck..
I realize this now after having been through the fire so to speak.
In 2003 I accepted a position at the public trough. The new job would mean a substantial increase in pay and the shift work would also mean that I would have a ton of time off midweek to fish.
No brainer?!!
Law enforcement for me seemed like a bit of a stretch at the time but surprise surprise ...looking at it now ... I seem to have a knack for it and for the most part I enjoy what I do.
Not many people can honestly say that and in this day and age I realize just how very lucky I am to just have a friggin job!
Part of the condition of my employment was that I successfully complete a 9 week government training program...
...a program with an extremely bad reputation.
9 weeks away from the family in the middle of nowhere....if I fail anything I am out on my ass and the job goes bye bye...
They escort you from the premises and put you on a plane...Thanks for coming out
Ella was 2 months old when I left.
I am the sole source of family income...try that on for size.
:o/
I do not travel well and I hate being away from my family even overnight not to mention I had been removed from a formal educational setting by about 13 yrs.
Obviously I was successful but this
"training"
was far and away the worst experience of my life...(interestingly enough the second worst was another type of government training???)
hmmmmm
Well anyway...enough of that..
On top of the misery of being away the Philistines had the audacity to send me for training through OCT/NOV/DEC....heartless....
The only good thing was that the workload was so heavy nobody really had time to pine for things.
Halfway through the program I thankfully took advantage of a travel weekend.
I believe it was a three day reprieve?
It is funny how the memory is fuzzy...almost like repression.
I don't fly well and chose to drive home on my breaks....all 9hrs.
I remember tearing up when I saw the lights from the chemical valley from the highway....ah Home Sweet Home!!!
I had never failed anything in my life and I am not shy on confidence but the Fed Gov is a wild card and I was stressed out.
I don't know how we managed to swing it but Morin and I got out fishing on that weekend and I will remember that day for the rest of my life.

I don't know what kind of company I was for my friend that day. My heart was aching and the thought of returning to that hell hole of a college was a constant that was almost impossible to shake...but fuck them...that is just what we did.
We caught a lot of fish that day...and like a gift from Heaven ...or wherever..the river was surprisingly quiet.
#6


This fish was the final fish of the day and while to many people it may only appear mediocre .. to me ...because of the circumstances it was monumental.
A beautiful strong clean fish from home....that would carry me through the hellish dirty weeks to come.
I made it...fuck them.
I need that river.
..and friends aren't too bad either I suppose.
;o)

At It Again...

Today I tore myself away from my Tiger Woods Golf and from the winter blues that have been choking the life out of me and hit the ice again with Morin and crew..
Fresh air sunshine and family fun.
Just the little pick me up I needed.
Here is Owen with a Lunker...lol
I had to beg him to hold it on his own.
The first thing he did when he got home was run and tell his mom about the giant fish that he caught...
There may be hope for that kid yet...and me.

Good day.