Resignation?
LOL
Well...
Here I am half way through the first month and I am forcing myself to write a BLOG entry.
I am doing so because I need some type of an outlet.
I have a bit of an issue.
The Midlife crisis is in full effect and it is really starting to get on my nerves.
I am fully aware of it and have the stones to look it straight in the face which I think is keeping me from doing anything super crazy.
Kimi is very supportive even though I don't think she understands or gets the severity of it.
We have a great relationship and I can discuss anything with her ....but this.
I think that in order for her to truly understand the neurotic grip I am in she would have to see the world the way I see it...and honestly I wouldn't wish that on anyone!
:o)
She has faith and at times I find a lot of that hocus pocus laughable..like grown adults believing in Santa Claus ...but it works for them.
I envy that ....
I have become morbidly obsessed with my own mortality.
It is weird ...
It is like all of a sudden I have come out of hazy state of denial about death and realized that "Hey"...I don't get yesterday back??!!
....And it puts great pressure on "NOW" and tomorrow.
It would probably be easier to take if I wasn't soooooo incredibly happy with my life.
My Kids are awesome ...My Wife is great and I want to bang her all the time. I have a good job that affords us a quality of life a majority of people in the world would kill for...
Not to mention great friends and Steelhead.
I guess now that I have arrived in such a great and sought after place I just can't believe that it is going to end??
The way I have been feeling is not all bad.
As a matter of fact if could very well be all 'Good'.
I feel like I am really starting appreciate things...a lot of things that I took for granted ...and I absolutely do not give a flying fuck about the small stuff and at the risk of reducing this little rant to cliche..."it is mostly small stuff"... in the grand scheme of things ..
I have taken a renewed interest in the guitar and all I want to do is play...
When I am at work it is all I think about.
Speaking of work....those knucklehead idiots are sending me all the way to Prince Edward Island for my week long 3 year firearms recertification this February.
Honestly...WTF?
The amount of our tax money these people waste through their incompetence is mind boggling.
Whatever...it should help pass the winter and should give a nice set of days off in early March to balance out my hours....
...Days off that will undoubtedly find me knee deep in a Michigan river praying for a pull...
Unless I die before then..
LOL
...Where is my Guitar???
4 comments:
My God man. I was at the cottage...we have a phone. You could have called to talk. LOL! Hang in there. You are right. We will make it out of this frozen winter hell and it will all make sense again come the end of February. You need to get up there and snowmobile with us. It is a friggin blast and that country is simply stunning in winter. We need to get away. Just the boys and get drunk and say stupind things and eat bad food. That will fix ya up for a while.
Time is the enemy....
My shedule is load front end heavy right now but it will pay off.
I read through my last entry and it does make me sound like I am depressed....but I am really not....
Really!
In fact I have never been happier...just sort of panic striken....
...And there is a deafening sound of a clock ticking in my head all the time....especially when I am at work!
LOL
Oh my friend...that clock is ticking indeed and you are dying every day. Quickly at that. Embrace that fact and enjoy what quality time you have left. Love your family but also love yourself.
You have to live with yourself but you have to live as well. ;o)
That right there is some heavy smart shit!
WORD!!!!!!!!1
Who is this?? ...and What have you done with my friend?
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